Am I Done?

A typical day in our home.
5:00am Ryan wakes up and gets ready for work. I wake up right behind him and start his car for him
5:30 Ryan leaves for work. Tyler wakes up.
5:45 Braden and Shaelyn get up and fight over who needs the bathroom first.
6:00 leave for the morning Taxi driving.
Tyler- seminary 6:10 (or so)
Braden-Jazz band at the Jr High 6:45
6:36 Bus picks up Shae (I love how the bus stop is my driveway)
7:00 Tyler leaves Seminary and heads to Jazz Band at the High School
7:30 Cami wakes up.
7:30-8:30 Conner and Aubrey wake up, eat breakfast and we attempt to get dressed for the day
8:33 Bus picks up Cami for elementary school. I then begin my work for Jarel on the laptop if the work is available.
12:00 Finish up work. Feed the little ones lunch. Gather laundry. Attempt to do as much house work as possible before.........
1:45 when I leave to pick up Tyler from school. Mon,Wed and Fri I take him down to the Middle School for wrestling practice. Tue and Thurs I take him to Dr. Gardner's house where he does farm chores for 2 hours.
2:00-4:30 run errands until it is time to pick up Tyler from work and Braden from wrestling.
4:30 we head home. Ryan gets off of work and school.
5:00 we are home and then begins the fixing of dinner and the kids chores
6:00 clean up from dinner and kids and Ryan do homework.
7:00 Tyler, Braden, Shaelyn and Cami argue over who needs to shower first.
9:00 get ready for bed. All kids are in bed by 10:00

In all my spare time this an average week of laundry.

56 pairs of pants
56 undies
56 pairs of socks(at least)
112 shirts (includes undershirts)
56 pairs of jammies
7 tablecloths
countless wash cloths and dish towels
32 bath towels or more
and if we get to it, 8 sets of sheets and comforters.

The dishwasher is filled and emptied a minimum of 3 times a day and then there are still some left over to wash by hand at the end of the day.

I work an average of 30 hours a week between my 2 jobs. 1 with Wendys and the second job at MatSu Regional Med Center.
Ryan is in shool full time and works at least full time.
Ryan is in the Stake Young Mens Presidency and has meetings to attend at least once a week and with it being the beginning of the year and our Stake has something like 12 wards. He attends 1-2 Ward conferences on Sundays.

My house needs a good floor cleaning, wall washing, kitchen scrub down and much more. There seems to be chaos everywhere. I decided last week that something needs to give. Because the house is chaos we often find Aubrey getting into something she shouldn't and Conner spends too much time watching Noggin and playing x-box. The girls are constantly fighting. Tyler and Braden are 'too busy' to help out. I am at my wits end. Some may wander why I have been so negative lately. I say everything previously listed is a good explanation of that.

I miss my cuddle and play time with Conner and Aubrey. I miss my conversations about conspiracies and science and life with Tyler. I miss listening to Bradens nonsense. I miss sitting with my husband and talking. I miss going on dates, real dates. Driving into Palmer for a Diet Pepsi is not a date. I miss Family Home Evening. I missed church 5 Sundays in a row because of work.
I get frustrated when I see people around me who have family and friends and seemingly endless help and support from others. I get frustrated when I am told that "Someone says you need a break from your calling". I felt they should have just said what they meant "we don't think you are doing a good enough job and we know someone who has more time and can do a better job..."
I feel disappointed when I would like for family to come and visit me and my family and maybe help me relieve some burdens, or even just call or email or chat on FB. It gives me a new understanding of how my aunts and uncles must have felt when they moved away from Utah. It gives me a realization of who I can truly count on.
This brings me to what I have decided needs to be done. My Heavenly Father is my best friend. I know I can always count on him. When I feel alone, I can pray and I feel as if he has given me a hug for comfort. So number 1: I need to keep my relationship with him stronger than any other.
My family is my pride and joy. I love them more than anthing in this world. So, number 2: I need to put my relationship with my husband and children right up there with my relationship with my Father in Heaven. I find happiness when I do things for my family. So, number 3: I will serve my family with my whole heart not feeling sorry for myself but grateful that I am blessed with a husband who holds the Priesthood and who is inspired to make the right parenting choices for our children who is supportive and loves to provide learning experiences for all of us. I am blessed with 6 children who are special. They are all so talented and smart and so much fun. I love them deeply. These are my 3 priorities and I believe that if I can focus on them everything else that needs to be done will fall into place.

First of all you have to know we have been working on the house, a little here and a little there. Our bedroom closet was disassembled and turned into a utility room in October of '09. all of our belongings that were crammed into our large closet ended up in our bathroom in the torn out shower and round about our room. We have finally made some headway this last couple of weeks. We finished hanging te sheetrock, taped and textured ourselves and last week found our paint colors for the bedroom and closet. Ryan and I primed the closet over the weekend. Monday I decided to surprise Ryan and put the paint up. One less thing for him to worry about. It looked fabulous and he was so happy to see that it was complete. Well Monday night is our families favorite TV show "24" , so we sat down to watch the show. when the show was over and we all headed to our beds everyone hears a very loud scream from my bedroom "AUBREY" . Yeah that was me. While we were watching Aubrey decided to help me out, uh huh, that's right. She got into the primer and painted randomly all over my fresh painted "Sand White" colored closet. I then found the roll of sheetrock tape in a big mess by my bed. I now get to repair the mess she made in the closet. Isn't she just the sweetest little helper? I guess it could have been worse. She didn't paint anywhere else and it wasn't all over her.

The Jetta Is Not Going Anywhere

The snow has been falling now for three days. I knew there was no way Ryan was gong to get the Jetta in the driveway after work if we didn't do something quick. The battery is dead on the 4-wheeler. We couldn't find the snow shovel that is somewhere in the backyard underneath the 12 fresh inches of snow. So we head to Palmer to get a new shovel so we can plow a spot for Ryan to park and clear the berm left by the plows. Ryan was able to make it in just fine. In a frantic effort to get the driveway plowed Ryan jump started the 4-wheeler. There is no way the Jetta will get out of this driveway in the morning, especially after the snow plows come by and leave their berm and it is STILL snowing. He gets the 4-wheeler started and the plow mounted and makes 2 swipes up and down the driveway and the battery dies. "Well you might just have to drive the Expedition to work tomorrow, or maybe you will be lucky and can drive out." I said. Morning comes and of course it was STILL snowing. Ryan heads outside to go to work and within a few minutes is back in the house "I'm stuck!". He an Tyler work it loose. Not once but twice. They dig and dig then come ask for my help. They were stuck in the berm by the road. I drive and they push. But of course I can't keep the tires straight. We work it loose next thing I know I have driven the tire off the side of the driveway. Ryan gives up, gets in the Expedition and maneuvers around the Jetta and leaves for work. I bet he brings home a battery today.

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Everyday the ritual is pretty much the same. After the school kids are all off to school Conner and Aubrey sit down and play and watch the very entertaining childrens shows on Noggin. I sit down on the computer to do my work for Wendys. Yesterday, however, was an unusually exciting day. The two little ones were in awe of all the all the snow that had been coming down for a couple of days. The dog had gone out multiple times to play around in the snow and they were quite entertained by it. Then the last time I heard the door to the deck close there wa complete silence. No giggling at the dog. No running around. So of course I have to go check it out. Those two yahoos had dressed themselves to go outside and play with Zoey. You can not see it in the picture, but they were actually wearing their summer crocs. Which I found funny becaue they had to go loking for the crocs and their boots were right by the door. Conner for some odd reason thought shorts were ok for winter. They said they were not cold and I have to bribe them to come in.

Honest Aubrey

The other night we made pizza for dinner. We had a ton of left overs. Cami was asked to get the tin foil and put wrap up the pizza and put in in the fridge. Well Cami comes back with an empty box. "It's all gone." I hear Aubrey say "It's not gone. I know where it is." She takes dad up to Tylers room where she shows him the pile of crinkled up tin foil on the floor. Dad hauled it downstairs laughing at honest little Aubrey. I am sure she had a blast doing this.

Orientation Day at New Job

Today I went to orientation at Mat-Su Regional Medical Center. I was hired on as an "as-needed" phlebotomist. I am having mixed feelings about the whole thing. First of all, I have not done this sort of work for over 10 years. Second, I have no idea what to expect. Will I work mostly days, nights,afternoons? Will I work many hours a week, or just a few(that is my preference)? And last and absolutely not least, my children are already under a lot of stress with school and the things they are invovled with.
Tyler has early morning seminary and Jazz Band then wrestling after school and weekends. Braden has Jazz Band and wrestling starts for him soon. They both are in the Boy Scouts . Shaelyn wants to play basketball. Cami plays basketball and is in the school play and Choir before school once a week. Conner needs constant attention and Aubrey likes her mommy cuddle time. Then there is the house work. I will have 2 jobs and in January Ryan starts Nursing school and will also keep working full time. Something is going to have to give and it will be the kids who suffer.
I pray every day for assistance in making the right decision. I find myself in tears often thinking about this. I am torn. I know that there is a possibility that Ryan will have to cut his hours back dramatically come January. My first job is wanting me to be available more hours a day, which will help, but the new job has the chance of messing that up.
I really truly believe in the importance of moms staying home with their children. I feel that kids who have mom at home grow up with less emotional stress. I am the first to preach this which going to work then makes me feel like a hypocrit. I wish I could push a rewind button and do the last 2 years over again. Or better yet a pause button so I can pray and ponder a little longer on these huge life changing decisions.
I hope and pray for strength for my family as I know the next few months are going to be tough on them.

High School Wrestling Season

Tyler has started his first season of High School wrestling and is really doing well. His first tournament was at East High in Anchorage. He wrestled at wt. 145 lbs and did ok but quickly realized he is a very small 145 lb so he spent the following week eating healthy and working out hard so he could cut 5 lbs for the Lancer Smith Memorial Tournament at Palmer High. He made wt. at 138.5lbs well under the cap of 140. He did much better at this weight. He made it to the quarter finals as a Freshman.This tournament was combined JV and Varsity. He is now 7-4 and a little disappointed but pumped up for duals on Oct. 30 at Palmer High and tournament at Colony High on the 31st.
Ryan and I decided to get involved with the Wrestling Booster Club this year. We really had fun taking a part in the preparations for the Lancer Smith Memorial Tournament. We gathered a few sponsors, printed raffle tickets and spent both days at the tournament helping at the mat tables with bout sheets and score boards. We are so happy to have been able to help.
Through this tournament I was able to meet many wrestlers and get to know some of the bad sides of the teams attitudes and sportsmanship. I am so proud to be a parent of a Palmer High School wrestler. I never once heard a cuss word or saw poor sportsmanship from them. They all should be proud to have such a great wrestling coach. Coach Ewart teaches more than wrestling moves. He teaches morals and integrity. This team is full of great kids because of him. Keep up the good work and good luck at next weeks matches.